Several years ago, when fish used to swim in silver ponds, I was a young, innocent, delicate and naive child. I believed without question that children were bought in the supermarket and that my dad had all the money in the world. It is easy to see why Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is for them that will receive it like little children. As such, I was treated like one! I think messing up was my default setting since any little thing I did right was applauded. I would get sweet promises just to finish a meal and praises if this actually happened without me breaking the plate.
People were consistently concerned about me, where I was and what I was doing. I couldn’t just be anonymous. I even had a big brother assigned to me, to watch me. If I messed up, they had a case to answer. After all, I was just a tiny, innocent and fragile baby.
Last but not least, I got an audience when I needed one. All I needed to do was cry. Imagine, just cry!
Fast forward those several years and now I find myself in a situation where every single decision I make has consequences. Right from my parents, my employer, my supervisors and the society, everyone expects me to not only make the right decisions, but to make them consistently.
If I do the right thing, it’s a normal day in the office and that will in no way mean that I get time to gloat, relax or bask in glory. It is more like how no one congratulates a mango tree for producing mangoes. It’s in the job description!
If on the other hand I fuck up stuff and make some stupid decisions, the whole world expects me to man up and face the consequences. For example, if on a lazy evening I lose concentration a little on the road and hit a car from behind, I could spend a night in the gallows and God knows what will happen when I am sued for damages.
I remember how vibrant we were in class when the teacher asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. We all said many things but no one said that they wanted to be the very thing that the question demanded, a grown up! Now I know why.
While I very much like the responsibility and freedom that comes with adulthood, I sometimes miss the tolerant and ‘no pressure’ nature of childhood.
Now, I know I have to work hard to achieve something and that whining won’t solve a damn problem. I also know that children are born, not bought, and if I get an impulse buy get one without prior plans. I will have to step up.
I also have to be concerned about petty little things like what I will eat for supper!
The good thing is I am not alone, I am in good company and that company is you.
Till next time,